I want to wrap you in my deceit.
Lay down with you surrounded by my lies
Naked beneath these sheets.
Torture you with my tongue,
Whisper sweet nothings
As I take my pleasure;
To the lingering lyrics of lust,
The fickle words of my song.
The sorrow is like the rain,
That seeps into my soul.
I cannot escape its reach,
How it creeps like a cancer
Into every part of my being.
Its waters never washing me clean
But rather they numb me of feeling.
Soaking me with the amnesia of the dream,
With a meaning that disappears when I awaken.
So that what is happenstance, I view as concrete proof
That there’s only a gap where my heart should be beating.
Hello shadows, my old friends,
You find me down on my knees once again.
Praying to be forgiven,
Praying to remain unseen.
To be forgotten,
Fractured but somehow not broken.
Like a passenger, alone, in an otherwise empty railway carriage
To the observer by the side of the track, I will not seem real.
But just a dissected jumble of body parts flying –
Eye, arm, tear upon a cheek, passing by.
Less than human, I hope to appear
To the disease waiting outside for me.
Nothing but shadows and light
To the watcher beside the track.
Nothing in the scheme of things, nothing to infinity.